Monday, October 1, 2007

Personal Injury

I'm not sitting around in class all the time. I have a life. I have cool friends.

Case in point, two of my cool friend came over on Friday night to play darts and Super Nintendo.

These two friends--lets call them Tom Clancy and Michael Crichton--have had some epoch battles at my house. They reenacted the Civil War for three hours in my basement on one of the best nights of my life. They fought out many epic Tecmo Bowl battles. They have even engaged in archery in my back yard--a contest that may or may not have killed my neighbors dog. But this was the first night for darts.

Michael Crichton was doing just fine until Tom Clancy cast an evil spell on him.

Crichton's fate was not pretty. Poof! In the blink of an eye he was turned into this guy, riding public transportation alone.

Tom Clancy went on to win and become the household champion. You kind of have to feel bad for Crichton, but that's what you get for challenging a wizard to a parlor game.

Tom's spell wore off in a hour or two and despite a few near misses and at least a pints worth of horse play, no one was seriously or permanently hurt.

But my time out of class isn't all play...

Saturday morning it was time to work.

I've been meaning to landscape my yard and put in a lawn for approximately 10 months. Unfortunately there are just too many other things to do that are much easier. But to every man there comes a time when he must gird up his loins and go to work. I got an early start because a storm was coming in and I wanted to get as much done as possible before the sleet and rain. Also, it's worth pointing out that for the past six weeks I have simple not been able to sleep for more than 5-6 hours a night.

Before I show the next pictures, let's recap:
1. Playing darts and messing around with dudes until 2:30 AM.
2. Slept for 5.5 hours for the fortieth day in a row.
3. Up at 8:00 AM to use dangerous power equipment in the yard.
4. Storm is coming in.


It would seem I cut two of my fingers with a chainsaw. Not ideal.

As a student I have no medical insurance. So my first reaction is to "take care" of the problem myself the best I know how--clean the suckers out in the sink, wrap a clean t-shirt around the affected fingers as tight as I can, and then wrap that up in a hefty wad of medical tape. Problem solved.

I went back into the yard and kept working until about 11:30. My brother showed up to help right about the time I was finishing with the medical tape wad.

He's old. He has a job. He makes money at his job. After a discussion about whether or not we could sew the finger up ourselves, he took me to the hospital because he's nice.

But it gets better...

While we were waiting for the doctor to come back to the examination room, my brother was sitting in the chair closest to the door. Doctor confidently enters the room. Swings the door wide. Hits brother in the shoulder with door. Brother grabs shoulder and says, "Ow!"

"Hello, Tort. Fancy meeting you in a rich doctor's office."

What a good weekend. And I owe it all to my brother... no not just my brother... My Hero


B. said...

I don't think that Tom Clancy won that contest fair and square. I suspect him of dippin' the sticky.

Rip Colbert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rip Colbert said...

That's a awful big accusation---why it could give a guy a bad wrap. You know the last guy what got caught dippin' the sticky was ridden right out of Double "A" Tuscaloosa on a rail. And they didn't even have trains in Tuscaloosa at the time. Had to bring in a boatload of Chinamen to get a rail put down lickity-split, then road the sticky dipper right out on the Bumsville Express!