Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Brief Recess

I have a professor, lets call him Stephen King, that has an amazing proclivity for two things: sexual harassment and giving law school advice.

I enjoy both, though I've never taken either very serious or been a direct target for one or the other.

You want examples? I'll give you examples.

Example A: Sexual Harassment

While introducing the teaching assistants to the course he had a number of them step forward--mostly women. He then pointed out that these were the teaching assistants good looking enough to have sex with, but if we felt so inclined, we should keep it a secret or wait until after the semester is over.

Example B: Giving Advice

Professor King to class: You have a weekend coming up. I know a lot of you are going to be tempted to spend it with your noses in a book, but let me remind you that law school is a marathon, not a sprint. Go out this weekend. Get drunk Friday and Saturday night. Pick up some girl at a bar and have all the sex you want.

I'm no party animal. I'm not even a party virus or vegetable. I've never known the pleasures of woman or drink. But does that mean I don't crave adventure?...


As you can clearly see I'm am up for adventures of all sorts of ethnicities.

It was a cold and rainy night. Our journey was long and the way was fraught with signs of danger.

We became lost deep in the Mayan tomb. Our resident Geologist tries to reconnoiter our surroundings. Elin stays optimistic, but she does not know that seven Mayan ghosts wait around the corner to scaled her with boiling hot water.

Just when all seems lost we finally reach the South Passage.

A frightened and confused waiter takes our order. My flash photography seems to strike fear into his heart, and he bows in my presence for the rest of the evening. And yet the laser light show I later witnessed did not seem to phase him at all. They are a mysterious people.

The kitchen runs out of mix for strawberry daiquiris. Before a mêlée erupts our waiter, Pacumeni, makes an announcement and tries establishes order.

Sadly, despite Pacumeni's best attempts, things deteriorated very quickly. We gave the staff small pox. They gave us indigestion.

The adventure sat like a brick in my stomach for days. I may yet bear the scars.

P.S. Speaking of scars, my fingers are healing nicely.


B. said...

Wanna know something spooky? The Mayan Adventure's calendar of events only goes up to 2009...

Rip Colbert said...

Bravo! That is too good of a joke to be hid here in the comments sections. Bravo!